A 'Coconut' And Insular Indian-Americans.

Whenever I criticize anything about Indian-Americans or what they do I often face the question "irrespective of what you do white Americans will never accept you as white". I approached a contemporary Tamil writer about refuting one particular speaker's speeches at FeTNA (Federation of Tamil Sangams) and then the bouquets and brickbats came my way. One of the gems I got was "அரவிந்தன் கண்ணையன் போன்ற வெள்ளை மோக சுயவெறுப்புக் கருப்பர்" (roughly translated as 'self-loathing black guy' or what they mean was 'self-loathing brown guy). 

On my first day at work in 1995 at a firm in Chennai I was at my desk early. The Managing Director walked past me and I, in typical Indian manner, got up from my seat to wish him. He stopped me and said "you do not have to get up". On my birthday he called me to his room, stood up and solemnly shook my hand and wished me. He had earlier worked for Best And Crompton which used to have separate canteens for officers and workers but now this was a British owned MNC. I don't know where he got that habit from. I've seen BHEL DGM's walk by imperiously when their employees stand in an awkward position, half rising from seat, and wish them. 

In England an Indian perceived to be acting as white is jeered at as 'coconut', 'brown outside white inside'. In USA Afro-Americans perceived to be acting as white are called 'oreo', 'black outside white inside'. The case of 'oreo' is more illustrative. John Dabiri, Mac Arthur genius awardee 2010, said the following in an interview ( see my earlier blog "America's Geniuses:John Dabiri and a culture of nourishing excellence")

MARTIN: Did you ever confront the challenge that some kids of color tell us that they confront, of being viewed as, you know, not cool or a nerd because of your interest in science?

Mr. DABIRI: Yes, the phrase was typically acting white. You know, if you were someone who did your homework and spoke with correct grammar.

For complex social reasons the finer aspects of American culture is identified as being 'white'. It is wrong. And this social construct is what makes it easy, especially for immigrants, to ridicule 'assimilation'.


Indian-American's are an interesting lot in America. A H1B company owner would lament how his employees, the poor H1B guys, are disloyal and would change employers for more money. He would therefore demand a 'security deposit' of $2000 which he will hold for 2 years. That same employer would be working at a US conglomerate and if his employer in turn had laid down such conditions this guy would be knocking the doors of a lawyer in no time.

An Indian-American grocery owner blithely told his customer in North Carolina, 'irrespective of how dirty the shop is Indians will keep coming so why should I spend to clean it'. When this owner buys his grocery at an American store he would expect it to be free of fungus, perishable foods marked with an expiry date, refund if the strawberries are rotten etc.Go to any Indian store in Oaktree road, NJ (an Indian enclave) you will hear 'no returns or refunds'. That same owner will be miffed if America's largest retailers say 'no returns'. Indians are notorious in buying a camcorder before going to Disney World and returning it after the trip. Indian-Americans are notorious for abusing the 30 day return policy in NJ/NY/VA etc. Indians hate working under Indian managers. Indians make it a virtue of yelling across a hallway in Hindi or Tamil or Telugu over the heads of Americans. 

FeTNA celebrated its 25th anniversary this time. In 25 years thousands have come and gone as its lovers would like to boast. But, it took a coconut to point out that FeTNA, which claims to advance interest in Tamil literature, could take efforts to put up a decent book stall to sell books by Tamil writers that discerning readers in USA could not get easily. I'll return to this more next time.

Most of what I love in America I'd not even call it 'American culture'. I'd just say basic human values. Is expecting a function to start on time American culture? Is expecting a performance, even if performed by kids, to be of least synchronization 'American'? Is expecting a clean well prepared speech instead of meandering extempore 'American'? Is being irked by chaotic arrangements 'American'?  

And yes there are parts that I'd call distinctly 'American culture'. Though I come from a country where a boy questioned a god (Katho Upanishad), that too god of death, a poet challenged a god etc today that spirit of equality in challenging authority is nowhere best exemplified as in America. Jonathan Cole  cites Eric Kandel (Nobel winner in Medicine) about Thomas Morgan (Nobel Prize,1933, for research on fruit fly), "foreign scientists are amazed that students working in a laboratory call professors by their first name". Cole says that "Morgan and his students had worked collaboratively". 

Chinese government commissioned an inquiry on why America still dominates research. One of the findings was that Americans were never afraid to challenge a colleagues theory during a scientific session head on and bluntly without regard to the fact that they might have shared a drink the previous night and may still head out to the bar after the session. 

I understand that many Indian's emigrated for the sake of money. Not many consider America to be different from Muscat or Saudi. Many Indians are instinctively defensive when it comes to dispassionate criticism of India. Most Indians choose to stay back in USA kind of unconsciously being sucked into 'life style'. The clerk in DMV office here is poor too but something prevents him/her from asking for a bribe to renew a license. The cop who stops us has his needs too but he does not shakes us down to our last penny. All of those are, I'd say, still superficial reasons.

Jeyamohan, the author I wrote to, was harsh in his reaction to a FeTNA lover. Jeyamohan said "you are all fortunate to live in USA, please use that to show better things to your children than just Tamil Sangams". Of course it offended people but what he meant to say was that immigrants must soak in the finer parts of American culture and in turn enrich ourselves. If we conduct a function in NJ/MD like we would conduct in Chennai what would we have learnt from our years here? 

A cousin of mine has scaled the echelons of corporate success and he came to USA in 1980. He consciously Americanized himself by a healthy assimilation soaking in the good stuff and still retaining a core that he never forgot his origins in Tanjore. Now-a-days he goes to mostly Indian restaurants and watches a lot of Tamil comedies when at home. I asked him "would you have assimilated so well had these things been around in the 80's". He said "yes that's a good question, I may not have". Today it is possible for Indian-Americans to live as they would live in Chennai or Mumbai or Hyderabad. Watching CNN occasionally, making money off of stocks, buying a home, sending kids to school etc all provide less than a glimpse into the American culture.

A Broadway play, a symphony performance, a jazz festival in the park, Jefferson's home, a moderately expensive non-Indian restaurant are all places where I've found very few or mostly no Indians. Yes we make our kids learn piano or ensure that they complete their reading lists. But how much of it we ourselves soak in? The most irritating thing I hear is "this is an Indian function don't criticize too much, take it easy". THAT I consider as the most self-loathsome. When a person implies this is all we Indians are capable of that is what should be considered objectionable not criticisms, however harsh they may be. 


More than Indians who are insular it is the dichotomous Indians that disgust me more. I can understand taking things in a stride when we visit India but I cannot fathom how PhD's and other seemingly well educated people swallow nonsense when dished as 'patriotism' and 'love for language' and 'our function'.


I am comfortable in my skin and I do not desire it to be of any other color. Enriching one's own cultural repertoire is a valuable life experience that we should not shun.  


So here is three cheers to coconuts.